Lovespell
by Tsugi
Summary: this is based on a dream I had. Lots of humor, little bit of chaos. R


Love Spell: A Stargate SG-1 Dream

Is Apophis really a good guy or is he just bored?

This story is a dream that I had. I added a little to make it a good story and I also changed the names. I used the name for me, Zoë, and asked my best friend for her to choose a name. She chose Rory. No, not like Gilmore Girls, either. At least, that's what she would say. I made my story nevertheless.

* * *

My name is Zoë Sanders. My roommate is also my best friend and oddly enough, her name is Rory. She's Russian and has a funky last name that not even I, her best friend, can pronounce. Anyway, my story starts in our living room on a bright, sunny Saturday. We had just finished our daily ritual of watching five episodes of Stargate SG-1.

"Dogma!" I yelled.

"No!" Rory yelled back at me.

"Yes! Please? I wanna watch Dogma!"

"No!" She yelled again.

"Why?" I asked. "Why not, huh?"

"Because, Zoë, we've seen it 37 times in the last three days. That's why." (Author's note: Math people, is that even possible?)

"So…That's not a very good reason. We've got nothing else to watch." I sighed. "Oh, Rory. Come on."

"No…My God! Zoë, I've got a whole library full of movies and you insist watching…Dogma."

"Come on, I'm going for an even 40 before tomorrow. It'll be a world record."

"I think we've already accomplished that."

"Well, what about Little Nicky, then?"

"Feeling blasphemous today, are we?"

"Shut up."

"I would watch that one but there's only one problem."

"What?"

"I don't own it."

"Oh. Well, that sucks."

* * *

"Oh, Apophis," he said to himself. "Looks like they need some help. Finally, I can try it out." Apophis was sitting in the bed of a big red truck watching the two girls through the window. He was looking for someone to test his new project on. He reached into a gym bag near him and pulls out a remote and pressed the big red button in the center.

Time stopped. Everything stopped. Everything but him. He turns around and checks the two sleeping males next to him. "Yup, still asleep." He captured and tied them up earlier in the week. Before he got thrown out of the place where he was being kept, he was supposed to be dead but the keepers couldn't stand him anymore. They had him dropped back to planet Earth, but in a little town called Paducah in the state of Kentucky. In the United States, no less. _Why couldn't they have just dropped me off at Cheyenne Mountain? It would have been a lot easier to catch these two._

"Okay," he said to one of the bodies. "It's your time to shine."

Apophis brought the tied-up man into the house and untied him in the room where Rory and I stood. (Of course, I didn't know this until time started up again…but this was a dream.) He leaned the man against the wall and whispered something in his ear. He left the house and got back into the bed of the truck. He pressed the big red button again and time restarted.

* * *

Daniel Jackson opened his eyes to see Rory and I arguing.

"Dogma…Please!"

"NO!" Rory groaned. "Screw this!" She ran to her room and slammed the door.

"I like Dogma," Daniel said. "Funny movie. Where am I, exactly?"

I was a little shocked but I said, "Paducah, Kentucky."

"Who are you?" Daniel asked me. He looked totally smitten.

"My name is Zoë."

"Such a beautiful name." He grabbed me and kissed me. I was confused but I was happy. I loved him but never thought he was real, so I didn't ask questions.

"Wow, Daniel! I didn't know you had a thing for me."

"I feel like I've always known you…loved you. But, I've never even seen you before. How do you know me, anyway?"

"A TV show was made about the Stargate."

"Really…So everyone knows?"

"Pretty much."

"Oh, who cares?" He grabbed my arm and drug me to Rory's room, he saw her go that way. He slammed open the door. "Out!" he yelled. "Now! Right now!"

"Why? It's my room?" Rory said, not even bothering to look up from her computer.

"Leave!"

She looked up and saw me cuddling up to him and realized what was happening. "Hell, no," she said. "Go to your room." She saw the look on Daniel's face. "Okay…Just let me get my stuff." She grabbed her drink and a movie. "You owe me," she said in my direction. I didn't reply.

Daniel peeled off his clothes as soon as Rory left. I did the same. _Wow, this is quick._

After quite a while, we came out of the room. Daniel's vest was on backwards and my hair was all poofy. I was no longer a virgin.

"Did you…? You did, didn't you?" Rory started to ask. Daniel and I blushed.

Soon after, someone was knocking on the door. "Help! Help me! Please! Open the door!" Rory went to the door first, Daniel and I followed. Skaara came in. "Oh, my gods! Apophis…"

"Hey, calm down," Daniel told him. "Apophis what?"

"He kidnapped us…Hello…" He saw Rory. He acted just as Daniel did. He grabbed Rory and kissed her. "Your name? I'm Skaara."

"I know…I'm Rory…"

Skaara looked to Daniel. Daniel pointed the way to Rory's room.

"Thanks," Skaara said as he drug Rory that direction.

"So," I said. "Want some pancakes?"

Daniel nodded. "With honey, please…Honey."

"Ha, ha."

Daniel decided to call Hammond.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TWO!" I heard coming from the receiver.

Daniel told him the shortest version of this story that he could. "Where's Jack and Sam?" he asked. "I didn't see them at least four days ago."

"I don't know. All of SG-1 has disappeared. Well, except for Teal'c. He's been worried, too, you know."

"Sam will surely call you. When she does, have her call me here."

"Will do…"

I gave Daniel our number and he gave it to Hammond.

Skaara and Rory came back after Daniel and I had finished watching…Dogma…of all movies. "That makes, what, 38 now?"

Daniel and I laughed. I looked at Rory and screamed to her, "Aurora!"

"What?" she said. "You did the same thing."

"Well, at least I came out with my pants on."

"Oops."

"Great…Pancakes!" Skaara had seen the stack that I had made earlier.

"They're probably cold," I told him.

"That's okay…they're still good."

The phone rang when Rory came back from applying pants to her legs. She answered it.

"Let me talk to Daniel, please," Sam said on the other side.

"Okay, hang on. Daniel! Phone! Sam!"

"Comin'."

"How do you know me?"

"Ask Daniel."

"I will later."

"Sam?" Daniel asked through the phone.

"Yeah…Where are you?"

"Uh…Kentucky…"

"Does the place that you are happen to have a big red truck in the driveway?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Me and Jack are in his cabin next door to you."

I looked outside. "That wasn't there yesterday."

"Come outside and meet us," Sam said.

"Sure…Comin'."

"We all went outside to see Jack and Sam dressed in only a bed sheet. The same bed sheet.

"Guys! We got to go to Colorado…and you need clothes."

"We noticed," Jack said.

We all hopped into the big red truck. Jack and Sam's bed sheet was flapping with the wind in the bed where Apophis was not anymore.

* * *

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR CLOTHES!" Hammond barked as soon as we arrived.

"We lost them, sir," Jack told him looking down at the ground.

"Go find some," he told them.

"On our way, sir," Sam said as they shuffled out of the room.

Hammond turned to Rory and I. "Who are you?"

Daniel explained…as usual…

* * *

"Let's go to the girl's locker room," Sam said. "There's never anybody there."

"Okay."

They walked in and every female that worked at the Stargate was dressing. "Sorry," Jack said and pulled Sam out. The ladies wanted to ask, but never did. "Let's try mine," Jack suggested.

"Right."

Needless to say…they do eventually find clothes.

* * *

_Epilogue Kind Of Thing Goin' On…_

I met Teal'c as soon as Sam and Jack added clothes to their apparel. We were discussing the new Star Wars movie, Episode 3. He hadn't seen it yet and wanted to know some things about it since I had seen it. We discussed differences between characters and had a good time just walking and talking.

Daniel proposed to me and Skaara to Rory. Of course, we didn't turn them down. We looked for Apophis. We found him…He showed up at Cheyenne Mountain. He told us that he wanted to show his appreciation to the world by helping Daniel and Skaara's most loyal fans have what they wanted. That happened to be Daniel and Skaara themselves…so he arranged it. We were confused but didn't care. We were all happy. We asked if he had anything to do with Jack and Sam…he said yes. He knew they were meant for each other and was tired of waiting for them…they were so slow…but now together. We sent him to an insane asylum in case he came up with anymore ideas of taking over the universe as he has previously tried.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOXXXXXXXXXX

So, was it any good…please tell me…I love you all…give me suggestions…

Tsugi


End file.
